Marriage Can Be Solid, and You Can Still Feel Lonely: Why Women Need Women

Let’s just say it out loud: You can have a rock-solid marriage and still feel lonely. Especially in this expat life where your partner might be your everything—your spouse, your co-parent, your emergency contact, and your only adult conversation after 5 p.m.

But sis, that kind of pressure isn’t fair on them—or on you.

When you move countries, you lose the casual connections that used to carry you: the friend at school pick-up, your sister who’d drop by with wine, your neighbor who knew when you were having a rough week just by the look on your face.

In a new country, it’s easy to cling to your partner like a life raft. But what if that partner travels a lot? What if you're the one juggling fevers, school emails, and surprise plumbing disasters—solo?

I’ve been there.

When we first moved to Ho Chi Minh City, we lived in this massive house—too big for what we needed—but it was all we could find at the time. It had snakes, cockroaches, power outages, and break-ins in the compound. I was new to the country. I hadn’t built trust with anyone yet. My husband traveled a lot. I was by myself, in a place I didn’t feel safe, and honestly, I was scared.

I remember not even touching a glass of wine at night because I was so afraid something might happen to the kids and I’d be alone. That kind of stress does something to you.

And it taught me quickly: you don’t just need company—you need community.
But not just any group of acquaintances. You need women you trust.
People who are physically close enough to knock on your door. People who know your kids, who can grab them from school or step in when life unravels. People who, frankly, can act like family—because that’s what this lifestyle demands.

But here’s the other thing: these women? They’re not just lifelines for emergencies. They’re also your mirrors.

Because the truth is, this life isn’t “normal.”
Many of us have paused our careers. We’re stay-at-home parents in unfamiliar cities, managing school runs in languages we barely speak, navigating puberty, friendship fallouts, homesickness, and identity shifts—not just for our kids, but for ourselves.

You need people who get that. Who don’t look at you sideways when you say, “I’m grateful, but I feel lost.”
You need friends who say, “Oh, I know that feeling,” or “This helped me,” or “Here’s where I go when I need to breathe.”
It’s a shared experience—this juggling act of raising global kids while trying to stay anchored in yourself. And the only people who truly get it? Are the ones living it too.

The Truth:
This isn’t about blaming our partners. It’s about honoring the truth: Women need women. For the in-between moments. For the late-night voice notes. For the days you feel like a ghost in your own story. For the sacred reminder that you are not doing this alone.

CTA (Natural Wrap-Up):
That’s why I created The Settled Circle. It’s not just about styling homes or checking off relocation to-dos—it’s about building real connection. About creating a space where you can find the women who see you, because they’re walking the same path.

👉 Ready to find your circle? Join the waitlist for The Settled Circle—we start in September.